Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Okay so can I be honest and say that today I was on polar opposites of this leap of faith we have started to take? It started out this morning with the overwhelming thoughts that said "what the heck are you thinking?" In my head I was listing the tons of reasons that we should just stay here and not pursue this burden we feel to move to Columbia. I won't recount all of them because I don't want to start that over again right now. Needless to say I was feeling overwhelmed and full of fear. Not that anyone would have been able to tell, I wasn't pacing around wearing a hole in the floor or sweating profusely in the grips of panic. It was just a mental marathon, something like I was stuck in the middle of a dodge ball fight, and everyone hit me.
Fortunately, God in incredible ways brought about another wave of peace to my restlessness. I love how He can use anything at anytime in anyway to bring about His plan. Today it was in Him reminding me of His promises that He will take care of me. That He has a plan for all the things I am worrying about, so I need to just let go. I am so used to trying to be the answer to all my problems or the problems around me. I can hear it right now, that still small voice saying, "let go, it's not for you to worry about". So I did.
To finish out the opposite polar, shortly after my time of surrender, I was blessed with the excitement of maybe what lies ahead for us. I called someone from Columbia that I have been e-mailing, (trying to establish another contact in the area). Wow did God deliver! I was thrilled to the point of tears at what God is doing in this guy's life. To get a glimpse of what we might soon be a part of. So now I can't wait to get there at the end of this month on our "scouting" journey.
Today I started out unsure of why I am making this crazy move and I end the day pretty excited despite the fact we are making this crazy move. It's in being obedient that I find peace.


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